


Quelqu'un M'a Dit

by uselesslesbianvampire



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-03-04 00:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2892971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselesslesbianvampire/pseuds/uselesslesbianvampire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a while after Carmilla left, it had hurt to breathe without her, and so Laura had let Danny kiss her through her tears until she couldn’t breathe anymore. Danny didn’t smell like vanilla and she didn’t taste like stolen bites of brownies and her voice was strong and light and so not Carmilla that for a moment Laura forgot. She forgot why she was hurting and she forgot the beautiful agony of adoring and being adored and so when Danny had whispered the words ‘I love you’ into Laura’s neck, Laura had whispered them right back.<br/>Cheating!fic with all sorts of angst and smut and kind of a lil' bit of everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Le temps qui glisse est un salaud...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing a proper fic with chapters and all that nonsense so if I'm doing something wrong, or something right, please let me know! The title and chapter titles come from one of my favourite songs by Carla Bruni 'Quelqu'un m'a dit'.

They had fallen apart.

It hadn’t seemed possible at the time, but they had burned too bright and too fast and when you stripped away the supernatural – they just weren’t compatible. At least, that was what she’d told herself at the time, and the mantra she recited whenever something summoned images of her - of _them -_ to the front of her mind.

Two years. Two years had passed since they’d spoken.

For a while after Carmilla left, it had hurt to breathe without her, and so Laura had let Danny kiss her through her tears until she _couldn’t_ breathe anymore. Danny didn’t smell like vanilla and she didn’t taste like stolen bites of brownies and her voice was strong and light and so _not_ _Carmilla_ that for a moment Laura forgot. She forgot why she was hurting and she forgot the beautiful agony of adoring and being adored and so when Danny had whispered the words ‘ _I love you’_ into Laura’s neck, Laura had whispered them right back.

In hindsight, it had happened more out of convenience than anything else. Danny was right for Laura, and Laura was right for Danny. Things were as they were always meant to be. She and Danny had spent the past Christmas with Laura’s father, and the two of them had talked about sports and concealable defence measures and everything was working out just as Laura had expected - as she had been planning since she was six.

She was happy. She was really, truly happy.

Only, maybe she wasn’t.

The Summer Society’s annual Adonis festival was coming to a close, and Danny had truly gone all out for the big closing bash. It was beautiful – Danny had taken her the previous night to see the fairy lights woven between glowing lanterns which would cast a soft glow over the crowd.

Laura had awoken to an outfit laid out over a chair, and a note from Danny telling her that the girl would be putting the finishing touches on the party and that she should relax and enjoy herself. Laura smiled softly – Danny had an uncanny ability to anticipate Laura’s needs.

The dress was beautiful, the note sweet and sincere, and the cocoa had both caramel _and_ marshmallows, and yet Laura couldn’t shake the bitter taste in her mouth, and she couldn’t begin to explain the wave of tension that coursed through her body. It’s the kind of gesture that she should have been swooning over – only she couldn’t seem to bring herself to feel anything but ill. But she was meeting her girlfriend under a canopy of stars and mood-lighting and it was meant to be romantic and wonderful, so she wouldn’t give the weight in her stomach any thought.

Danny greeted her girlfriend with a kiss, grinning from ear to ear and grabbing at Laura’s arms excitedly, and Laura couldn’t help but be happy for her. Looping her arm through Danny’s, Laura let herself be led around the party. It was stunning – every detail thoughtfully planned out and prepared, and for a while Laura let herself live in the moment – get lost in the swirling galaxies, courtesy of the alchemy club, which formed a canopy over the event, and the tittering small talk of the crowd which seemed to hum with excitement and activity.

Something in Danny’s demeanour changed about an hour into the party, and the two hour mark she pulled Laura into a quiet alcove. There was a nervousness and an excitement in her movements, and the smile on her face was so sincere and full that it seemed to give a certain light to her entire being. A little squeal escaped her mouth and she grabbed at Laura’s hands, face shining as they flitted between Laura’s curious eyes and her mouth as she laughed – unsure whether there was any other possible response to Danny’s bubbling energy.

‘What is happening right now Danny?’

The words came out in giggles because the absolute _joy_ radiating off of the redhead was contagious and, smiling into Danny’s earnest kisses, Laura looped her arms around the tall girl’s neck.

‘Ok.’

Danny paused, intertwining her fingers behind her girlfriend’s back and, taking a moment to compose herself, rested her forehead against Laura’s.

‘I didn’t tell you when I applied because I didn’t want to get my hopes up but there’s a research thing that’s like, super selective and just an amazing experience and like, Italy is so, _so_ beautiful and –‘

Laura’s mouth falls open and some involuntary noise of interruption cuts off the end of Danny’s sentence as she processes the information that has just come flying out of Danny’s mouth.

‘Wait, stop – research thing? _Italy?_ ‘

‘And it’s not too far away, really and I’ve looked into it and you can easily finish your degree by correspondence – you’re already way ahead because of all the extra courses you’ve been balancing –there’s even an exchange program I’ve been looking at. It’s perfect for us. Nothing’s holding us here.’

And then Danny is kissing her but Laura’s head is still spinning and she can’t quite understand what is happening and so she’s pushing her girlfriend off of her and running her fingers through her hair and just trying to _think_ for a second.

‘What?’

She can tell by her tone that Danny’s hurt but she doesn’t quite understand why because she’s the one who’s had time to think this over and isn’t getting this whole life-changing situation thrown at them in the middle of a goddamn party. Tears sting at her eyes and she’s mad at herself for their existence as she smiles at a girl from her freshman lit class as she passes.

‘Danny I can’t do this right now – you need to get back to your party and I need-‘

‘Laura, what the hell?’

Danny reached forward, fingers tracing Laura’s chin and pulling her gaze back to Danny’s own, except that Laura was having none of it – fingers wrapping around slender wrists and shoving Danny away from her. Taking a step back as Danny tried again to coax her closer, Laura stopped her with a look that screamed ‘get away from me’, eyes swimming in the tears that she would _not_ let fall in the middle of the _goddamn Adonis festival_.

‘I need to clear my head. I’m going for a walk.’

And Laura walks away, ignoring Danny’s protests. She’s pissed off and there’s an argument playing out in her head and all she wants right now is to drink and look at the stars. And so she has one or two or three cups of punch and she mills about and chats with her friends, finding a quiet place where the party is nothing more than a dull glow and a quite hum in the distance and she has one or two or three cups more.

In the morning there’s a voicemail from Danny apologising and there’s not a whole lot she can remember from the night before but she feels sick to the stomach and it’s more than the hangover because there is _something that she’s forgetting._

There is a face, a voice – something that she should remember but doesn’t.

_‘She still loves you, you know?’_

And Laura sits bolt upright because she might not be able to remember the face behind the words but she knows who they refer to and it is _not_ her girlfriend.


	2. J'entends encore la voix, mais je ne vois plus les traits...

_Shit._

Every muscle in her body was tense and those words were making her head spin and _of course_ Laura didn’t love Carmilla – she loved Danny, except her heart was racing and her head felt light and her stomach was doing flips inside of her and none of those things should be happening in response to _anything_ Carmilla says.

_‘She still loves you’_

And it didn’t make sense because Carmilla had been gone for a two years on some quest to find herself and why would Laura even be _talking_ about her? Laura squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to conjure an image of who the voice in her head belonged to except everything was in shadow and all she could make out was vague features that could have belonged to anybody.

_‘She still loves you’_

Laura’s phone was buzzing off of her desk, Danny’s face lighting up the screen but Laura needed to _think_ and she needed to _remember_ so she let it ring out, raking her hands through her hair. The last thing she could remember was standing by the punch bowl with Perry and LaF and they were talking about LaF’s most recent endeavours in turning their dorm room into their own personal laboratory and Laura was listening to them bicker when something caught her eye and –

_‘Last time it took a month to get the stench out of my pillowcase’_

_‘I took precautions against the smell this time’_

_‘And almost burnt down the building!’_

_‘_ Almost _being the operative word’_

_Laura smiled to herself and for a moment found herself looking for Danny - a joke on her lips about the time they let LaF perform a ‘very simple, very safe’ experiment in Laura’s dorm and Laura had to stay with Danny for a week until the infestation died out. But she was still mad at Danny – or at least confused as to how to deal with the thing and so she made a point of looking towards the Zeta dominated area of the party – somewhere the tall redhead was very unlikely to be found. Kirsch was doing a poorly executed keg stand, cheered on by an overly enthusiastic crowd and then he was righting himself and cheering and pointing to a girl whose face Laura couldn’t quite make out. And the girl was being pushed forward by the crowd and placing her hands on the sides of the keg and then she turned and smiled back at Kirsch and Laura’s drink fell from her hand and hit the ground, its contents splashing halfway up her calves._

_The two people beside her stopped talking, following Laura’s gaze to where Carmilla was being serenaded by a gaggle of catcalls and Zeta chants._

_‘You didn’t know she was back?’_

_Laura didn’t look at Perry as she spoke, her eyes glued to girl she thought she’d never see again. And then, as if Carmilla felt Laura’s gaze on her, she turned and met it._

And then everything was shrouded in black and Laura couldn’t clear the shadows from her memories.

She felt like she was going to be sick.

She _was_ going to be sick.

Running to the bathroom, Laura felt her throat burn and her vision start to fade into black around the edges. She fell to her knees on the cool tiles and heaved into the toilet, forehead suddenly sticky with sweat. Her stomach began to settle and the roomed started to spin a little slower and Laura was suddenly aware that she had a class today that she was probably going to be missing.

Her eyes found the clock on the wall.

12:15

Ok, that she had already missed.

Her stomach made a sort of growling-gurgling noise and she decided that she’d email her professor after she’d eaten something. Stumbling back into her room, she hauled herself to her desk and cracked open the Tupperware container of leftover something that she’d left lying out after her drunken snacking the night before, brushing a half-eaten cookie into her lap. Fork halfway to her mouth, loaded with melted cheese and what looked like Doritos, she froze – eyes flitting down to the crumbs covering her pyjama pants.

_Laura ran her tongue over her teeth, screwing her face up as she contemplated whether it was worth getting out of bed to brush them. Her drooping eyelids making the decision for her, she rolled over, pressing her face into her pillow which smelled rather soothingly like Danny’s hair._

_There was a click and the scrape of her discarded shoes on the floor as the door opened, pushing them to the side. Laura’s forehead scrunching in discontent, she rolled over to glare at the intruder, eyes straining in the darkness. The figure walked over to the fridge and pulled open the door, and in the light Laura saw, for the second time that night, a face that she had been trying to forget._

_‘Hey cupcake – Cool if I stash this in here? My new roommate’s kind of uptight about the whole blood thing.’_

_Laura’s blood ran cold. It was one thing seeing her from a distance, but crouching at the fridge in the middle of the night was startlingly domestic and all of a sudden Laura was remembering everything that had happened in this room. Every kiss and every touch and every moment they were together went flashing through Laura’s mind and she was overwhelmed._

_So she lay on her bed as Carmilla put her ‘soy milk’ in the fridge and moved over to where a packet of choc-chip cookies sat on Laura’s desk. Her red lips closed slowly around the cookie in her hand and as it crumbled Laura’s mind went somewhere wholly indecent and so she rolled on her side and closed her eyes until she heard the door close._

The fork dropped back into the dish and then Laura was wrenching open the fridge door and begging for it all to be a dream.

It wasn’t.

Taking the soy milk container out of the fridge, as if to make sure that it really, tangibly existed and wasn’t just some trick of her imagination, Laura eye’s flitted around the room nervously.

It smelled like her.

She had been in here for all of three minutes and yet the smell of vanilla had permeated the room and was making Laura’s heart race. And then there was a knock at the door and a sigh which Laura knew belonged to in-the-dog-house Danny. Laura’s mind went blank - everything was vanilla and containers of blood and _Carmilla_ and surely Danny would notice because Laura _couldn’t stop thinking about it._

‘Laura? Listen, I know you’re in there. I’m sorry, ok. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you it’s just that – It’s a really big opportunity for me and I was hoping that, I don’t know - I guess I was just thinking that you’d be as excited as me. Listen, I know that there’s a lot to talk about so can you just let me in?’

Laura didn’t move, one hand still clutching the soy milk container.

‘Really? Ok well the Summer Society is throwing a post-Adonis thing– I’d really like to see you there. I’d really like to see you.’

‘Ok. I’m guessing you’re not going to let me in right now, so I’m gonna go, but we should – we should talk. Ok. Bye.’

There was the dull thud of footsteps as Danny disappeared down the hall and Laura turned and slumped against the counter, resting her head on her arms. But then the doorknob was jiggling again and there was sort of scraping metallic noise and Laura was squeezing her eyes shut because she couldn’t deal with Danny right now.

‘Go away Danny.’

‘Not Danny.’

The voice was closer than she expected and lower than she expected and belonged to someone entirely not who she expected.

Laura whirled around, blood in hand and came face to face with her ex girlfriend, who stood far too close and smelled far too familiar. Carmilla smiled, eyes meeting Laura’s, and spoke, her voice soft and tentative.

‘Hey.’

And her gaze was caring and gentle and everything it wasn’t the last time that they had met each other’s eyes.

‘Hey.’


	3. Serait-ce possible alors ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter the first appearance of our good friend, Smutty Mcsmutpants. NSFW-ish.

Carmilla had been everything to her – she had meant more to Laura than anyone ever should , and then all of a sudden they were past tense and it had broken her. Two years later and she was still putting herself back together and now here she was – the vampire who broke her heart – and all Laura could think a bout was how _right_ it felt.

Carmilla was looking at her with eyes that seemed too hopeful - too full of adoration and longing and regret and a thousand other human emotions - to be the same eyes that had shot daggers into her heart with every loaded syllable the vampire spat out until Laura was as tired and disillusioned with life as she. Except they were – and her hands were the hands had pushed Laura away, and her lips were the lips that formed insult after insult after insult, and then finally goodbye.

‘Get away from me.’

‘Listen, Laura can we just –‘

Laura stepped past her, grabbing at a dress that was draped over her desk and tugging her pyjama top over her head. It was a strange sensation, being half-naked and this close to Carmilla, but it wasn’t like Carmilla hadn’t see it all before and Laura had no intention of asking her to turn around.

‘You can let yourself out –there’s a party I’ve got to get to.’

‘Like that?’

Laura glared, yanking off her pyjama bottoms and pulling the dress over her head. Danny had bought it for her for Christmas. It was tight and the neckline was almost too low - Laura knew how good she looked in it, and by the way Carmilla’s eyes raked down her body, the vampire did too.

But Laura wasn’t going to let Carmilla’s eyes linger long and so she breezed into the bathroom and wiped last night’s makeup from her face, fluffing at her hair until it looked a little less like a birds nest. And then she was breezing past Carmilla again, pulling on shoes at the door.

Carmilla trailed behind her the entire walk to the Society Hall, but Laura refused to look back until she was inside the house and being yanked into a coat room.

‘You can’t ignore me forever.’

‘Sure I can.’

And then Laura made her first mistake and let her eyes flick up to meet Carmilla’s gaze and Laura started counting the seconds in her head because she needed to think of something other than the fire that started in her chest when Carmilla looked at her like that.

They met in the middle and it was nothing like Laura had imagined. Carmilla’s hands framed her face so delicately, as if afraid to really touch her. Her eyes were tightly closed and her kisses were desperate and Laura couldn’t remember having ever seen her like this. And then it was too much and she could smell and taste and _feel_ everything that she’d made herself forget and Laura pulled Carmilla to her, her touch deliberate, firm fingers smoothing up and down her sides.

It had always been Carmilla who took control. Laura had always been too young and too intimidated and too inexperienced – but now Carmilla was the one falling into Laura, yielding to her touches and her kisses and clinging to her like a lifeline.

Laura is disgusted by the fact that she wants her so badly but she _does_ and the pull on her heart is just a little too strong and so she pushes it aside and she’s slamming her against the door and pressing her body flush against the vampires just a little too hard. And the kisses are too rough and her hands aren’t caressing but rather grasping at flesh and she’s biting at her neck and twisting her hand in her hair and Laura feels sick to her stomach but she doesn’t stop.

And the tune playing outside the door has a beat and a melody that’s far too soft for what’s happening inside those walls and the juxtaposition isn’t lost on Laura so she does her best to drown out the sounds with those tearing from Carmilla’s lips.

And it’s rough and it’s hot and it’s all more than enough to make Carmilla’s fangs to come out to play. And there’s blood trailing down Carmilla’s lip where she has bitten down on herself and her eyes are darker and more predatory than Laura has ever seen them.

And then sharp fangs are trailing along the column of her throat and their points are just barely scratching the skin but it’s enough to push any remaining concerns far from Laura’s mind and she’s reaching behind her to yank down the zip of the dress that Danny bought her and pull the material down her thighs along with the underwear that she bought for Danny. And there’s more pressure behind Carmilla’s bite as searching fingers reach down between them but then Laura is yanking at her hand and pushing her head down and Carmilla just obliges.

She knows who is in charge here, and it is certainly not her.

And then Laura’s head falls hard against the wall and her entire world is white hot heat and she knows what she needs and she’s gasping out the two words she promised herself she would never say – not like this.

_‘Bite me’_

And Carmilla doesn’t hesitate as she rises to her feet and brushes Laura’s hair off of her neck, lips and tongue soothing over her pulse point as she draws her lips back over white points.

And then one thought filters through the haze in Laura’s mind.

_Danny._

And she’s grabbing a fistful of Carmilla’s hair and pulling her away from her neck.

‘Not my neck’

She pants the demand into the vampire’s open mouth and she obliges, pressing needy kisses down Laura’s front until she is once again nestled between her thighs.

And Laura is confused for a moment until she feels it.

The pinch and the flash of pain that follows - unnatural sensation of her own blood leaving her body as Carmilla’s lips close around the wound and she sucks hard.

What follows is unexpected. Carmilla had told her about it of course – the floating sort of euphoria that comes with a vampire bite. The body’s attempt at dealing with the intrusion.

But this was something far exceeding what Laura had anticipated and then Carmilla’s fingers were pressing into her and she was riding a wave unlike any other and tumbling over the crest. An incredible clarity washed over her and Carmilla’s lips were back on her own and she couldn’t ignore that tug in her stomach or the ache in her heart any longer and so she didn’t push the vampire away as she had intended to but instead pulled her closer as they slid to the ground. And they were breaking Danny’s heart and it should have been heat and ripped clothes, not this outpouring of emotion and these feather-light touches which spoke of nothing but unadulterated _love._

Danny was out there, probably looking for her, and Laura couldn’t care less. She was high on an old vice and she never wanted to come back down. Laura let her head fall back against the wall, as Carmilla slumped into her touch and pressed lazy kisses to her neck.

_What had she done?_

And suddenly tears were falling and she wasn’t sure whether they were for Danny or for Carmilla or for herself but she couldn’t stop them and she couldn’t control the sob that tore from her lips or the way her body shuddered, suddenly vulnerable in Carmilla’s arms. And she presses her lips to the cool skin of Carmilla’s neck and peppers fervent kisses along the vampire’s collarbone, whispering words that she was terrified of actually meaning.

_I love you._


	4. De nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux

Carmilla holds her. She wraps her arms around Laura as the girl shudders and heaves with every shaky sob, and pretends not to hear the words that Laura whispers into Carmilla’s chest because it wasn’t meant to happen like this.

It was never meant to be like this.

There’s muffled laughter outside of the coat closet door and Carmilla _knows_ that they weren’t quiet because they’d never been quiet, and then Carmilla is putting the pieces together in her head. And her mouth feels dry because suddenly things start making the worst kind of senseand then Laura is stiffening in the vampire’s arms because apparently her thoughts are of a similar vein. Sitting up straight, all wet gasps and shaky breaths, Laura swipes at her tear-stained face violently, and Carmilla tries not to notice the way the flesh of her bare back ripples with tension because now is _not_ the time.

Except Carmilla’s heart is still in her throat, because not five minutes ago she had her face buried between milky white thighs and Laura’s hands twisted in her hair. And now there was a throbbing between her legs and an ache in her gums where her fangs were raring to come out which now seemed highly inappropriate because Laura wasn’t _hers_ anymore. The vampire watched as Laura pulled her dress back onto her shoulders and tugged the hem down her thighs, except she couldn’t seem to force herself to do anything except lay there, coated in a thin sheen of sticky sweat and smelling like sex, and feeling dirty and damp and _used_.

Laura doesn’t look at her as she leaves.

Laura’s face is red and puffy from the tears and her hair is sticking to her forehead and she’s sure she must smell absolutely terrible because she hadn’t showered since last night but all she can think about is finding Danny. The tall redhead is usually particularly easy to spot but Laura can’t seem to find her anywhere today, and if she’s searching just a little too frantically it’s because Danny’s left her three voicemail messages already, and certainly not because she’s just come harder than she ever has in her entire life around her ex-girlfriend’s fingers in her current girlfriend’s hall closet.

‘Have you seen Danny?’

Her voice is too high-pitched but the girls are too drunk to notice as they shake their heads no. Laura makes her way through every room of the house except the one currently occupied by a half-naked vampire and moves into the garden. Laura eyes fall on a flash of red hair amongst the green. She’s sitting at the far end on a bench no one uses anymore and Laura feels sick because everything suddenly seems a little more real. Wearing a smile that she’s not quite sure is authentic, Laura jogs the last few steps to the redhead as Danny stands at the sound of footfalls.

‘Babe! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!’

The lie falls too easily from Laura’s smiling lips and then the red head turns around to face her and they’re not smiling anymore because Danny _knows._

_Danny knows._

She doesn’t have to say anything. She’s standing there and looking at Laura with eyes that are fire and Laura _knows_ that she knows. Danny’s teeth are tearing at her bottom lip and there are a hundred well-rehearsed words on the tip of her tongue, but the only one that comes out is _why._

Laura doesn’t know what she’s doing here, and she sure as hell doesn’t know what she’s meant to say to make the last hour of her life disappear.

‘I’m sorry.’

If the right words existed, those were not them. Danny’s eyes fluttered closed and her jaw set hard as she knocked her white-knuckled fist too hard against her thigh, trying to keep her composure.

‘I asked you –‘ She ground her teeth, eyes looking towards the sky because they _couldn’t_ look at Laura anymore, ‘The first thing I did was ask you whether you wanted this and you sa-‘

‘I’m so sorry,’ Laura’s voice was broken in a way she knew she had no right to, but she had to say _something_. She could hear the pain in Danny’s voice and all she wanted to do was take it away – take away last night and take away the hall closet and take away the words and the thoughts that never should have existed because they had put that _look_ on Danny’s face. ‘I’m so sorry’

‘Shut the fuck up and let me finish.’

Laura took a step back, her mouth gaping open, lips forming words that weren’t being spoken.

'You said you wanted me. You said you _loved_ me. It has been two _fucking_ years. And you _never_ loved me’

Laura’s mouth opened in protest and there was salt on her tongue because somewhere along the line she’d started crying again.

‘Don’t you _dare._ Don’t you fucking dare tell me that you loved me. You’ve done enough of that for one lifetime, don’t you think?’

And Laura doesn’t know what to think because her heart is breaking - and maybe this time it was her own fault, but that she’s discovering that it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

‘You two deserve each-other. I couldn’t give a fuck anymore. She’s going to hurt you and you’re going to hurt her and you’re both going to hurt pretty much everyone else, but you know what? I don’t care. I just can’t care anymore. Tear each other apart.’

Laura was numb as Danny pushed past her, heading back into the party. The thought occurred to Laura that she would eventually have to follow her steps except she couldn’t imagine her legs ever moving again, let alone carrying her over the grass and into the house, past _Danny_ and past _Carmilla._

The footfalls behind her faltered and Laura found herself turning, without meaning to and without knowing entirely how. Danny’s face is red and there are marks down her cheeks where the tears she finally let fall have carved tracks in her skin. _And it’s all Laura’s fault_.

‘You were fucking her in the goddamn coat closet while I was three feet outside the door and you thought I wouldn’t find out?’

And Laura has to say something because hearing it like that makes her sick and she didn’t mean it – didn’t mean any of it.

‘Danny, I –‘

‘Fuck. You.’

The words were spat out and Laura felt bile rise up at the back of her throat, and she knows that there’s nothing he can do. She knows there’s nothing that she can possibly say, no magic words which could make the redhead stop and listen to the words she’s not entirely should be said.

The patio door swings open and Danny stops mid-step and Laura thinks that maybe she’ll turn around and come back to her until she hears another set of feet and sees another pale tear-tracked face and Laura almost laughs.

_Join the club._

And then Laura’s hands are flying to her face because Danny’s fist has collided hard with Carmilla’s nose and the vampire is stumbling backwards and blood is dripping from her chin. Carmilla’s back collides with the glass door and Danny is less than three inches from her face, index finger pressed hard into Carmilla’s chest.

Carmilla’s eyes hold Danny’s gaze and Danny knows she should be angry with the vampire that stole her girlfriend’s heart but she can’t. She can’t because there’s guilt and regret and all kinds of apology in those eyes, and Danny can see hurt that mirrors, and maybe even exceeds her own and she _knows_ that Carmilla let her hit her and that she’d let her hit her again if she needed to. Danny grits her teeth and brings her palm down hard against Carmilla’s cheek. It’s less cathartic than she’d hoped but it’s enough, because somehow Danny knows that whatever she does to Carmilla won’t be half as bad as what Carmilla does to herself.

So Danny steps back, smoothing her hands down her thighs, eyes never leaving the vampire’s own, and mutters out two words dripping with hurt and hatred and a strange sort of forgiveness.

‘Thank you.’

She swung the door open and disappeared inside, and Laura became painfully aware that Carmilla’s gaze had turned to her.

‘Carmilla, I –‘

And it seemed as if Laura Hollis might never get to finish a sentence again because Carmilla caught the door before it closed and disappeared inside, and Laura was alone.

Painfully, frighteningly alone.


	5. Off the wagon... (Teaser Chapter!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little peek into the future of this story...

She hadn’t looked like this in a very long time.

_Off the wagon…_

Carmilla cupped her hands beneath the cool water of the basin, and felt her pale skin burn and ripple at its touch.

_The girl was almost asleep when it happened – cushioned by piles of seeds and silks and her father’s various other enterprises. The wheel broke, spokes sticking into the ground and bringing the day’s movements to a jolting, painful halt. Her father’s breath smelled like whiskey as he swore – at her, at the horse, at the Lord – and his fists and flying feet splintered the shattered contraption even further._

_She closed her eyes tightly against the light, clapping cold hands over her ears to shut out the noise._

_And then the shouting stopped, and there was another voice – sweet and hypnotic - and the girl allowed herself to look._

_There was a woman – or perhaps a girl – with sweet eyes and shining raven hair and a voice that soothed her father’s anger.  Draped in ill-fitting underclothes, the woman laughed at something her father said and her teeth flashed white in the sun and the girl thought maybe fate had taken the form of a rock on the road, or a loose peg in the wheel and whatever had sent them here had sent them straight into the arms of an angel._

_And then the woman was running pale hands up her father’s sides and pulling his head to hers and all of a sudden someone was screaming. There was a sickening sort of crack and a crumple of skin and bones and everything that had made up her father’s thirty one life, and then there were cool lips at her neck and a white hot heat flooding through her veins._

_The raven-haired woman walked away, creamy cotton of her nightgown stained red and her lips wet with blood, whistling a soft tune as she continued on her journey._

 Eyes flashing, fire heating her belly, lips stained a deep red – the touch of _l’acqua santa_ burning ever so slightly for the first time in centuries.

_This is who she was meant to be._

Memories flashed shades of red against the backs of her eyelids, fading – meaning less and less to her as she embraced the animal – the beast that had lived inside her for too long, caged in the dark, dead depths of her heart.

  _I love you’_

_'_ _I love you’_

_‘I love you’_

The words didn’t hurt anymore.

They were just – _words_.


End file.
